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BRETT RITCHEY'S BLOG

Equalizer
03.10.2010
CHUCK NORRIS' BIRTHDAY
Brett Ritchey
Brett Ritchey

today is Chuck Norris' 70th birthday. he's not really 70 years old, people just haven't figured out yet to count his age in Chuck years instead of normal human years. here are some Chuck Norris facts though that THE Chuck Norris picked out as some of his favorites:

  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  • Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
  • When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
  • Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  • Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  • Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  • Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
  • Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

3 Comments
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7d3aeabacfd9452bf78a0ba4329cd286
03.10.2010
| MICHELLE SAYS:
hahaha the last one is my favorite :)
http://chelles36things.blogspot.com
c286aa8a77e76df1c25da1acc9f34fc8
03.10.2010
| JENNIFER SAYS:
Chuck is the man! Happy birthday Chuck!
72b33b5e0052b534f9c02ad7237365f4
03.12.2010
| TENIKA SAYS:
HILARIOUS!! This is Awesome! Great work Brett! And yes of Course CHUCK is the man!!

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