today is Chuck Norris' 70th birthday. he's not really 70 years old, people just haven't figured out yet to count his age in Chuck years instead of normal human years. here are some Chuck Norris facts though that THE Chuck Norris picked out as some of his favorites:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he
checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them
down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of
creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on
the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law
and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard.
There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting
himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the
world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat
a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make
it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides
what time it is.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris
bites frost.
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit
after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a
democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.